Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Retires early to Make Way for Trump

By Olive Nugent At a snap press conference today, Death announced unexpectedly that he will be retiring from his position as the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse. He expressed a sense of obligation to make way for younger, up-and-coming purveyors of fatality and heralds of armageddon, naming U.S. President Donald Trump as his successor. “I’ve … Continue reading Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Retires early to Make Way for Trump

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Is Donald Trump an Arab?

By Aliaa Mohamed I have a theory about Donald Trump. He is secretly an Arab. I’ll tell you why. See, being an Arab myself, I can spot my people miles away. I can smell the shawarma from approximately 5 kilometres off. I’m not going to lie; it’s pretty impressive. So, when I saw Donald Trump, … Continue reading Is Donald Trump an Arab?

Welcome to High School

By Nour Kurdi It’ll be the best four years of your life, they said. Enjoy your youth while you can, they insisted. And what better way to do that than to thoroughly appreciate every sleepless night, stressful deadline, and load of homework so graciously bestowed upon us? I mean, what’s not to enjoy? Two essays … Continue reading Welcome to High School

Horoscopes – June 2017

Straight from the Inner Eye of the Lisgarwrite's All-Seeing Miasya Bulger Aries​: M​arch 21 - April 19 You are about to become addicted to a new anime series. Watch out for Tuesdays; they will bring terrifying news to you. Also, sometime you’ll have to rid your room of all empty water bottles in order to … Continue reading Horoscopes – June 2017