By Olive Nugent At a snap press conference today, Death announced unexpectedly that he will be retiring from his position as the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse. He expressed a sense of obligation to make way for younger, up-and-coming purveyors of fatality and heralds of armageddon, naming U.S. President Donald Trump as his successor. “I’ve … Continue reading Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Retires Early to Make Way for Trump
By Aliaa Mohamed I have a theory about Donald Trump. He is secretly an Arab. I’ll tell you why. See, being an Arab myself, I can spot my people miles away. I can smell the shawarma from approximately 5 kilometres off. I’m not going to lie; it’s pretty impressive. So, when I saw Donald Trump, … Continue reading Is Donald Trump an Arab?
“I didn’t write this on the rubric, but let me make this clear: do not do anything illegal for this project. Do not get yourself arrested. I will not pay your bail.” - Ms. Hurst “He’s at worst unstable, at best a crazy murderer. Oh wait, that’s the wrong way round.” - Ms. Hammond “[Student], … Continue reading Out-of-Contexts – June 2017
By Nour Kurdi It’ll be the best four years of your life, they said. Enjoy your youth while you can, they insisted. And what better way to do that than to thoroughly appreciate every sleepless night, stressful deadline, and load of homework so graciously bestowed upon us? I mean, what’s not to enjoy? Two essays … Continue reading Welcome to High School
By Shirley Zhu In the past few months, productivity rates among young adults have reached levels twenty times higher than those in the 1950s. What’s responsible? The latest craze called fidget spinners. Marketed as spinning toys designed to help people who struggle with focusing and fidgeting, these spinners have now exceeded target groups and are … Continue reading Fidget Spinners: A New Age of Efficient Multi-Taskers?
Co-written by Charles Zhang and Miasya Bulger Lisgar is a fantastic school with amazing teachers, student support, and positive community impact. However, many courses desperately need to be updated in order to keep Lisgar’s reputation strong. Specifically, the math and science departments need to change their assessment plan to the one that English teachers use. … Continue reading What STEM Marking Can Learn From English Class
By Miasya Bulger This past year, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to be a part of Lisgar’s Student Council as part of the Day Events committee. Throughout the year, I was able to work alongside other enthusiastic and driven Lisgar students to plan events and activities for the rest of the student … Continue reading A Not-So-Satirical StudCo Rant From Your Co-Editor
Straight from the Inner Eye of the Lisgarwrite's All-Seeing Miasya Bulger Aries: March 21 - April 19 You are about to become addicted to a new anime series. Watch out for Tuesdays; they will bring terrifying news to you. Also, sometime you’ll have to rid your room of all empty water bottles in order to … Continue reading Horoscopes – June 2017
By the all-seeing Miasya Bulger Aries: March 21 - April 19 Next time you drop your pen, it will point to something important. Think of what it means to you, or else the number Five will become unlucky. Enjoy baths instead of showers next Thursday, or else you will receive an unwelcome visitor. Taurus: April … Continue reading Horoscopes – April 2017
“It’s like one of those ink blot tests where the psychoanalyst squishes ink on a sheet and shows it to you, and someone says ‘Oh I see a butterfly’ and someone else says ‘Oh, I see my dead aunt coming down the stairs’” - Ms. Grant-Perras (Dec. 2005) “Two dollars of your student fees go … Continue reading Throwback Out of Contexts!