By Ella Kirkland and Ziyao Cheng:
A proven success rate of 100%
We all know high school can be tough. With the piles of homework, lack of sleep, and angry teachers, there are many things that can cause stress on a daily basis – but there’s one major teenage issue that causes more stress than all the others combined: talking to your crush! ♥
There’s always that special person in one of your classes; the one whose very name causes you that strange mixture of anxiety and delight. When you see them, your heart beats faster and your palms get sweaty, but there’s one problem: they don’t even know your name. Well, never fear, because we have a set of foolproof tips that will have you chatting up your crush in no time, so dry off your palms and get a grip of these tips!
Now, you might be thinking, “How is this possible if they don’t even know I exist?” Well, luckily for you, we’ve broken the process down into three easy steps: how to get your crush to notice you, how to flirt with your crush, and how to take the relationship to the next level.
Step Number One: How to get your crush to notice you
Getting noticed is the first part to establishing a normal relationship. You can try these tips in the classroom environment, or if you don’t have any classes with that special someone, the cafeteria, the library or the hallway works too!
Tip #1: Introduce yourself
Introduce yourself, but make sure to do it in a memorable way. Remember, you want them to think you are funny and different. Instead of saying, “Hi, how are you?”, try something more obscure. Bump into them in the hallways with an arm full of binders (after all, it works in all the high school sitcoms), spill a hot caffeinated beverage all over their desk (she’ll be impressed by your gallantry when you clean it up and she’ll be even more impressed with the fact that you can handle caffeine), or casually put their sleeve in the flame of a Bunsen burner (nothing inflames passion like setting each other on fire). They’ll love how ah-dorable you are and they’ll be sure to remember you!
Tip #2: Add them on Facebook
Most people recommend a friend request, but we say, why stop there? “Like” all of their pictures, comment on all their statuses, and send frequent messages with lots of smiley faces. Monitor their profile 24/7 so that you’ll be updated of all new occurrences in their life. Remember: no amount of social media contact is too much! Oh, and instead of posting selfies as your profile picture, try posting them on their profile instead! As they scroll down their timeline, they’ll realize how beautiful you truly are (through the Instagram-filter, that is). Can you say, duckface time?!
Tip #3: Follow them around
In order to relate better to your crush, you need to know what their daily life entails, so pull out that Sherlock hat because you’re about to do some detective work! For beginners, we recommend following them around at school, but if you are feeling really ambitious, feel free to follow them outside of school too. They’ll be intrigued by your surprising appearances in their neighbourhood and on their bus!
Tip #4: Make casual conversation
Now that you feel like you know them well enough, try to strike up a conversation. If you’re worrying about seeming boring, remember: everyone loves to talk about themselves. This is your opportunity to use the knowledge you’ve gathered in the past couple of weeks (remember: you have to stalk before you talk!). Ask something like, “I saw it was your second cousin’s fifth birthday yesterday. How did that go?” or “I saw that your fourth bus home was late. Does that usually happen?” They may seem taken back, but don’t let that discourage you; they’re just really impressed by how much you know!
Tip #5: Establish physical contact
After developing a steady friendship with your crush, it’s now time to break the physical barrier. Now, don’t let this scare you off because the strategy is quite simple: just find excuses to touch them. If they need a pencil sharpener, volunteer immediately to lend yours, but don’t just hand it over to them: make sure to press it into their hands slowly, grasping their palm and stroking their fingers. If they complain that it’s too cold, volunteer immediately to warm them up, but don’t just go for the conventional hug: try sitting on top of them while wearing your extra-thick winter parka and snowpants – it’ll be super cosy! Your crush will be so stunned by how confident and helpful you are that they’ll be left speechless!
Using these five easy steps, you’ll capture the attention of your special one in no time! Don’t worry if you don’t get the intended result the first time because it’s all about practice. We guarantee that after a few tries, you won’t be running after your crush, but your crush will be running after you!
After ensuring that your crush knows you exist, you’ll be ready to move onto the next step to winning them over. If you want to continue the hunt, make sure to read the next issue, “How to Flirt With Your Crush”, and don’t forget to share these tips with your friends (they’ll thank you for giving them such great advice). Until then, good luck and have fun! xoxoxoxo