A Thank-You From Lisgar Teachers

By Stephanie Fung


In a faculty-wide interview, teachers offered effusive compliments to students, praising their devotion to wasting class time this year.

As the 2013/2014 school year came fully to an end, Lisgar’s teary-eyed teaching staff threw a thank-you party in recognition of their most apathetic students. Each of the staff delivered a carefully-prepared speech, choking back gratitude for their students’ dismal attendance, suffering grades, and habits of texting in class. Reminded of the lesson plans their teachers prepared all year, the students ignored their touching gesture with equal enthusiasm.

“I’m just so thankful for the students who show up to a third of my classes every semester,” says Ms. Rhonda Smith, finishing her twelfth year of teaching this year. “I’m especially thankful for the students who turn in their assignments weeks after the deadline, handwritten on pages ripped from a notebook – it’s those that are a pleasure to grade.”

Ms. Alice Roberts also spoke fondly of her class, “I’ve taught such a dynamic and interesting group this year – I feel like I am really making a difference when they laugh at my typos, talk amongst themselves, and try to disprove what I tell them.” When she argues with yet another student about their assigned grade, she remembers just how lucky she is.

The other teachers had praise for the perseverance of students who ask to watch movies on a daily basis, and those who constantly ask to take class outside.

Mr. Jordan McKay, head of the Lisgar math department, was deeply appreciative of students who refuse to do homework they know will not be graded. He expressed how grateful he is that they insist on asking how the material applies in the ‘real world’ whenever it is assigned.

Towards the end of the ceremony, Ms. Christine Chen delivered these closing words: “I know my students really respect me once they start referring to things by my last name,” she says. “They call it ‘Chen homework’, or a ‘Chen binder’. For this reverent relationship between teacher and student, I could not be more thankful.”