How to Go to Bed On Time

By Bianca Manelli

 

  1. Place yourself in a bed. Not an armchair, not a couch, not a hammock, regardless of how comfortable they can be. Falling asleep is easier in a bed.

 

  1. If you are English, no tea in the 18 hours previous to your planned bedtime. If you are Italian, skip the espresso after dinner. They contain caffeine! They are stimulants, and will therefore keep you skipping and prancing in your room well past dawn.

 

  1. Turn off the lights. If you are afraid of the dark – many  people are, there’s no shame in that! (Also refer to our other self-help guide: “How to not be Afraid of the Dark, Even After Having Watched Don’t Be Afraid of The Dark”) –  keep only a little light on the wall.

 

  1. You can find something similar in any retailing stores, normally in the children aisle.

 

  1. Ask your family not to yell after midnight. If you feel uncomfortable for being too direct, briefly mention it. The only exceptions are hockey nights.

 

  1. Turn off your laptop. The electromagnetic waves not only affect your brain with cancer hormones, but also prevent you from sleeping.

 

  1. Next, turn off your cellphone. It is hard. We have all experienced this feeling, especially when the next achievement on Candy Crush is so close. If you let go, it will be better for you: tomorrow morning you can play with renewed energy!

 

  1. Cover yourself with blankets if it is winter; uncover yourself if it is summer. A perfect temperature creates the right environment for a soothing night of sleep.

 

  1. Close your eyes and think of happy thoughts, not of the exam that you will have to face tomorrow morning and have not studied for yet. Think of rainbows and ponies and cats, unless you happen to be allergic to cats and horses. If such is the case, you might try and picture a perfect life with your soulmate. This should keep you sedated until the next dose of caffeine.

10. Now you are ready! May sleep be with you!