Ultimate Rating of Lisgar Water Fountains

By Miasya Bulger

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4th floor

The fourth floor fountain is like the second floor’s less popular cousin. It looks newer and shinier than most of the other ones so you automatically trust it, even though there are some suspicious chemicals constantly being poured down those nearby lab sinks. Let’s just hope they’re not the same pipes. No way to know how many experiments the science teachers are REALLY performing… Final grade: 4-

3rd floor

This water fountain seems to think that since it’s on the third floor, the water pressure should change every three seconds. Like, one moment there’s barely aflow, and the next, water is spraying up your nose. No thanks. Final grade: R

2nd floor

The second floor fountain is like the king of fountains. Great location, steady water pressure, cool recycled bottle count that’s probably fake but still makes you feel proud of being “eco-friendly.” In fact, the water pressure is so strong that sometimes it fills your bottle TOO quickly. Pay attention unless you want wet hands. Overall, very nice fountain. Final grade: 4+

Basement

Does this one still work? Does anybody use it? If you know, please tell me, because I have no idea. Final grade: R Cafeteria The most controversial water fountain. The flow is reliable but the water is practically frozen. Getting frostbite in your esophagus is easily overlooked though it’s a sweaty dance and you’re too cheap to buy that $1 can of Coca-Cola. Truly, It’s up to you to decide where you stand on this great water fountain debate. Do free drinks really taste better? Final grade: 4-

Change Rooms

Kinda sketchy because it’s over a ceramic sink. Convenient if you’re unfortunate enough to forget your water bottle in grade nine PE, but if you’re not taking gym anymore, consider yourself lucky that you don’t have to use this fountain. Final grade: 3+ when you’re in grade nine, 2- otherwise.

South Building (top floor)

Water fountain, or urinal in disguise? At first glance, it’s hard to tell. Water’s decent, but I’m not sure if it’s worth the overwhelming feeling of discomfort you get while drinking from it. Probably one of the cleaner fountains because of the lack of use, so I’ll give it a passing mark. Final grade: 1+ ♦

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