Out-of-Contexts – June 2017

“I didn’t write this on the rubric, but let me make this clear: do​ not​ do anything illegal for this project. Do ​not get yourself arrested. I will not pay your bail.” ​- Ms. Hurst “He’s at worst unstable, at best a crazy murderer. Oh wait, that’s the wrong way round.” ​- Ms. Hammond “[Student], … Continue reading Out-of-Contexts – June 2017

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Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Retires Early to Make Way for Trump

By Olive Nugent At a snap press conference today, Death announced unexpectedly that he will be retiring from his position as the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse. He expressed a sense of obligation to make way for younger, up-and-coming purveyors of fatality and heralds of armageddon, naming U.S. President Donald Trump as his successor. “I’ve … Continue reading Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Retires Early to Make Way for Trump

Welcome to High School

By Nour Kurdi It’ll be the best four years of your life, they said. Enjoy your youth while you can, they insisted. And what better way to do that than to thoroughly appreciate every sleepless night, stressful deadline, and load of homework so graciously bestowed upon us? I mean, what’s not to enjoy? Two essays … Continue reading Welcome to High School

Horoscopes – June 2017

Straight from the Inner Eye of the Lisgarwrite's All-Seeing Miasya Bulger Aries​: M​arch 21 - April 19 You are about to become addicted to a new anime series. Watch out for Tuesdays; they will bring terrifying news to you. Also, sometime you’ll have to rid your room of all empty water bottles in order to … Continue reading Horoscopes – June 2017