Out-of-Contexts – June 2017

“I didn’t write this on the rubric, but let me make this clear: do​ not​ do anything illegal for this project. Do ​not get yourself arrested. I will not pay your bail.” ​– Ms. Hurst

“He’s at worst unstable, at best a crazy murderer. Oh wait, that’s the wrong way round.” ​– Ms. Hammond

“[Student], please look this up: is it normal to go to war without pants?” ​- Mr. McCabe

“And eat some ​real food​ first. Don’t just eat a chocolate bar. You’ll feel great for the first 10 minutes, and then you’ll, like, die.” ​– Ms. Hammond

“Presumably, when we were little kids, we all wanted to walk around naked.” ​- Ms. Hurst

“I’m being Coke-shamed by my students, this is fantastic!” ​- Mr. Saman

“I don’t know what the fine is for walking around naked.” ​- Ms. Hurst

“You see guys running around shirtless when it’s 15 degrees, and I think, ‘You really just wanna show off your pecs, don’t you?’” ​- Ms. Hurst

“My daughter wants to scream at the bunnies. She yells ‘LILY SCREAMS AT THE BUNNIES!’ Who screams at bunnies?” ​– Ms. Hurst

“We were looking at shadow puppets – Ooooh, look at my hairy arm!” ​- Mr. McCabe

“What if people with schizophrenia are just time travellers from the future talking on their cell phones?” ​- Mr. McCabe

“People want their standard cookie cutter purebred dog, not an albino retriever, otherwise you can’t see them in the snow.” ​– Mr. Wright

Ms. Hurst: Let’s go to the library and riot! What should we do? Break glass? Burn books?

Student: Read books upside down.

“You guys don’t see me as some crazy teacher, I’m sure.” ​– Ms. Hurst

“When I teach World Religions, I always say when in doubt, just say ‘Jeeeesus?’” ​– Mr. McCabe

“It’s a hard world when you’re a homeless, fertilized egg.” ​- Mr. Wright

“Hannibal’s like an Osama Bin Laden figure in the background.” ​– Mr. McCabe

“So Hannibal’s like, 70 years old, and he’s still, like, this rebel.” ​– Mr. McCabe

“‘Lobe’ sounds much nicer than ‘brain chunk’.” ​– Ms. Hurst

“If the money hits the floor, it’s mine, just saying.” ​- Ms. Hurst

“It’s a cigar. Some people think it’s a turd, but it’s a cigar. Although that assumption makes sense if you know about Freud’s other theories.” ​ – Ms. Hurst

“Does anyone else want to give an example? … No? Fine, then, be selfish.” ​– Ms. Hurst

“There are just SO MANY losers on the internet. So many.” ​– Ms. Hurst

“He had a great name… What was it? Todd Sneed? And he was an insurance salesman? That’s just perfect.” ​– Ms. Hurst

*To the PA system* “No! Shut up! We’re doing stuff!” – Ms. Hurst

“Cottage cheese doesn’t circulate in your capillaries very well.” ​- Mr. Wright