*to an economics class* ” “Is money all that matters to you? Have you no integrity?” – Ms. Olthof
*gesturing to a book about apes* “They were going to throw out this book at the public library, and I couldn’t believe it! There are pictures of some of you in here!” – Ms. Anas
“Tide pods! If you ever think of putting those in your mouth… think again!” – Ms. Engel
“If I can’t fail you I can certainly kill you with bad puns.” – Mr. Tang
“To be honest, the word ‘transcendent’ did not enter my mind as I was waiting to die.” – Mr. Hodgson
“I’ve slept in a Walmart parking lot!” – Mr. Middleton
“Guys, can you save the Netflix and Chill for tonight?” – Mr. McDonald
Student: Mr. Tang, why do you drink so much orange juice?
Answer: Why do you think they call me Mr. Tang?
*as a paper towel burns in the sink* “I hope your soul doesn’t end up like that.” – Dr. Magwood
“See, this is what happens when I get enough sleep. I’m even crustier, just like the burnt toast.” – Mr. Arrigo
“Are you guys gifted? I never paid for you, so you must be gifted.” – Dr. Magwood
“Happiness can come later. Get the money.” – Mr. Hodgson