Out of Contexts: From the Archives

“Satan – he’s excellent.” – Mr. Peters

“The Godfather’s waiting in room 257. You’d better hurry.” – Mr. Fraser

“A pox on field trips and all those who go on them.” – Ms. Poetschke

“I don’t even listen to my husband, so why would I listen to a guidance counsellor?”  – Mrs. Bradley

“We’re on the third floor. Window, bad; door, good.” – Mr. Porter

“Hey baby, I like your active site.” – Ms. Hewitt

“If Mr. Shapiro’s out there smoking and sees you hanging out the window…” – Sra. Traviño

“It’s like your babysitter only ate one of the children.” – Mr. Roundell

“Why don’t I just lie down on the floor and you can kick my ass.” – Mr. Peters

“Mr. Palumbo was not teaching as a hobby. It was a convenient front for the mafia. – Mr. Hale

“If your lab partner is exploding, it’s easier to get away if you’re standing up.” – Mr. Porter

“Pecunia comes from pecu, flock, which relates to bartering, like I’ll give you two sheep for your daughter.” – Ms. Palis

“Recapitulation means to cut your head off a second time.” – Mrs. Bradley

“When I wear white, I am the prince of darkness.” – Mr. Tang

“And when Donald Johanson dated Australopithecus Afarensis – no, I don’t mean he went out with him…” – Mr. Meng

“Some of this modern poetry is so bad that if you survive the reading of it, you can easily answer the questions.” – Ms. Poetschke

“Remember that you’re aboard the Titanic Tang. It is going to sink at any time, if you don’t give me 100% effort. And 99.999999% doesn’t round up. It rounds to zero.” – Mr. Tang

“You’re homo sapiens. I expect you to solve this problem. Homo erectus could have solved this problem. You could argue that Homo habilis could have solved this problem.” – Mr. McCabe

“It was very easy to get a cold. It turns to pneumonia and you die. This is why people are always dying in 19th century novels: they always die anyway… And it was handy: if you want to get rid of a character – send him on a walk!” – Ms. Poetschke

“I think the computer coughed.” – Mr. Porter

“This is a tricky quiz. You have to focus your energy. You have to be the punctuation. Be the comma you can be!” – Mr. Hodgson

Student: Dodgeball. Yeah, I beat the kids at that one.
Mr. McKay: Mmm, yes… it’s always fun to play with the little ones and just whoop ‘em one.”

“If you’re pregnant, and you drink 10 shots of espresso, it’s probably not good. Your baby will be born hyperactive and you’ll pay for it ten, maybe twenty years of your life.” – Ms. Klassen

“It’s up to people like you and me to ask, “Can we speak in full sentences? Can we communicate without pointing and grunting?’” – Mr. Kronberg

“That’s why we have ‘senior citizens’ instead of ‘the geezer class’.” – Mr. Hodgson