A Travel Guide for Trump Supporters

By Abigail Potter Dear Trump supporters, We would like to extend this travel advice to you. This is your opportunity to see your future in a little place they like to call the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK). Or as they call it on CNN (fake news!) – North Korea. Don’t be alarmed by … Continue reading A Travel Guide for Trump Supporters

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Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Retires Early to Make Way for Trump

By Olive Nugent At a snap press conference today, Death announced unexpectedly that he will be retiring from his position as the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse. He expressed a sense of obligation to make way for younger, up-and-coming purveyors of fatality and heralds of armageddon, naming U.S. President Donald Trump as his successor. “I’ve … Continue reading Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Retires Early to Make Way for Trump

Welcome to High School

By Nour Kurdi It’ll be the best four years of your life, they said. Enjoy your youth while you can, they insisted. And what better way to do that than to thoroughly appreciate every sleepless night, stressful deadline, and load of homework so graciously bestowed upon us? I mean, what’s not to enjoy? Two essays … Continue reading Welcome to High School