By Olive Nugent At a snap press conference today, Death announced unexpectedly that he will be retiring from his position as the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse. He expressed a sense of obligation to make way for younger, up-and-coming purveyors of fatality and heralds of armageddon, naming U.S. President Donald Trump as his successor. “I’ve … Continue reading Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse Retires early to Make Way for Trump
By Aliaa Mohamed I have a theory about Donald Trump. He is secretly an Arab. I’ll tell you why. See, being an Arab myself, I can spot my people miles away. I can smell the shawarma from approximately 5 kilometres off. I’m not going to lie; it’s pretty impressive. So, when I saw Donald Trump, … Continue reading Is Donald Trump an Arab?
By Nour Kurdi It’ll be the best four years of your life, they said. Enjoy your youth while you can, they insisted. And what better way to do that than to thoroughly appreciate every sleepless night, stressful deadline, and load of homework so graciously bestowed upon us? I mean, what’s not to enjoy? Two essays … Continue reading Welcome to High School
By Shirley Zhu In the past few months, productivity rates among young adults have reached levels twenty times higher than those in the 1950s. What’s responsible? The latest craze called fidget spinners. Marketed as spinning toys designed to help people who struggle with focusing and fidgeting, these spinners have now exceeded target groups and are … Continue reading Fidget Spinners: A New Age of Efficient Multi-Taskers?
Co-written by Charles Zhang and Miasya Bulger Lisgar is a fantastic school with amazing teachers, student support, and positive community impact. However, many courses desperately need to be updated in order to keep Lisgar’s reputation strong. Specifically, the math and science departments need to change their assessment plan to the one that English teachers use. … Continue reading What STEM Marking Can Learn From English Class
By the all-seeing Miasya Bulger Aries: March 21 - April 19 Next time you drop your pen, it will point to something important. Think of what it means to you, or else the number Five will become unlucky. Enjoy baths instead of showers next Thursday, or else you will receive an unwelcome visitor. Taurus: April … Continue reading Horoscopes – April 2017
By Miasya Bulger Step One - Take Precautions: Tell all your friends that you want to hang out then immediately become inactive in every group chat you’re in. That way, when nothing ends up happening, no one will blame you! Make a study plan for exams. Tell yourself that this year, you will be productive … Continue reading How To: Staycation
By Tegwyn Hughes - Editor Reporters crowded outside of 121 Meadowland Drive this morning as Molly King emerged from the front door in her PJs and slippers, a look of awe on her face. Molly's mother had called the press half an hour earlier to report that her daughter, a grade 12 student at Lisgar … Continue reading 12th Grade Student Shocked to Receive Decent Sleep
By Cathy Jing On Monday, Lisgar students recently created a new phenomenon to relax their nerves before exam week. Lisgar Collegiate Institute's Council of Students club created Pyjama Week for its students to destress for their high school exams. To reach their nirvana, students must wear pyjamas to school the five days before exams. "I … Continue reading Students Battle Exam Blues with PJ Week
By Cathy Jing Do you always seem to get 50% or lower on your tests? Think you can do better than that? With this easy guide, now you can! With these five foolproof tips, you can get 100% on your test every time. Before the test 1. Use your phone in class to warm … Continue reading How to Ace Any Test